

Randomness
I got your predictions down low
By: Jack |I want to do predictions. So I’m going to do them. You can lambaste me now — or more appropriately, at the end of the season. Feel free to improve on my egregious decisions in the comments section.
-The Chelsea Offside 2008-09 English Premiership predictions-
1. Chelsea
Really, was there any doubt?
2. Manchester United
Close. Again.
3. Liverpool
Nobody cares about [...]
Looks like Robbie Keane is fitting right in
By: Jack |“Those guys are fags.” Really, they are. Via Kickette
See you guys next week
By: Jack |It’s been quite a week for Chelsea Football Club. You could probably say, historic. A Chelsea legend has returned to France, two of the club’s best — Cech & Essien — inked extensions, Lampard looks like he’s staying for at least another season and Scolari got the club off to a rousing start in preseason.
So, [...]
Video: Hitler v. Lampard
By: Jack |Thanks to Chelsea Offside reader Rosh for pointing me toward this absolutely hilarious clip. From the movie Downfall — outstanding flick, by the way — Hitler learns of Lampard’s imminent move to Inter Milan. Warning: This piece contains harsh language, so those 12 and under are encouraged to check it out.
“And fuck Anelka.”
The Net 7.3
By: Jack |Chelsea Ladies sign Arsenal Pair
Power in the Premier League, ladies that is, may be shifting. Chelsea has inked a pair of former Gunners, Lianne Sanderson and Anita Asante. Both were considered shock exits from Arsenal, which has dominated the women’s league for decades. Sanderson has been the Prem’s top scorer the past two seasons.
“Anita and me have won everything [...]
£85mil for Torres?
By: Jack |Wait, you thought those Fernando Torres to Chelsea rumors were finally dead? Think again.
The Daily Star — one of the most reputable news sources in all the known
world — says Roman Abramovich is willing to lift £85 million from his money bin in Duckburg and drop it over Anfield.
For the sake of argument, lets say [...]
Bad news: Cashley & Cheryl back together
By: Jack |It looks as if throwing up on your lover, especially one that isn’t your wife, in the middle of naughtiness isn’t as bad as you’d think. Cashley’s wife, Cheryl seemed to have severed ties with her hubby following his infamous erotic night on the town in January. Now it appears the two have reconciled after [...]
Mo Money, Mo Targets
By: Jack |Luiz Felipe Scolari, from now on here at the Offside known as Uncle Phil, hasn’t even taken over at Chelsea yet. That hasn’t stopped the rumor mill, and it’s continued ridiculousness, from churning out obscene amounts of transfer speculation regarding the club. A whole heap of numbers is being thrown around, but the one popping [...]
What’s Avram doing in LA?
By: Jack |He’s giving Phil Jackson advice. Wait, what? Avram the Gone has been a guest of the NBA’s Los Angeles Lakers this week as the team attempts to revive its championship series with the Boston Celtics. Grant & Phil chatted it up before the Lakers’ 103-98 win in Hollywood on Sunday.
“We talked about the situation that happened with [...]
Drogba droppin’ knowledge — and cash
By: Jack |There has been a Didier Drogba sighting. And guess what, he’s doing something commendable. Crazy, I know.
Friday, Drogs was in Abidjan promoting his new book to donate a hefty monetary amount to the Grand Bassam orphanage. The Ivory Coast man presented a check for about 2,300 Euros to the facility. He hung out with the [...]






