But that hasn’t stopped the now-infamous French starlet  from drawing some conclusions on the Premier League after just one match. In fact, Kakuta reckons first-team football is a cinch — compared to youth and reserve level, that is.

“Yes, (it’s easier than the reserves) because the game is much quicker, you have more choice when you play, you can play one touch, two touch, so it is much better,” Kakuta told Chelsea TV.

“I wasn’t nervous at all. My fitness is good because of the ban I have been out for months, but I have worked double sessions every day and I feel good. It has been a little bit like pre-season, because when the boys finished I was still in, working in the afternoons.”

After a sparkling debut at home against Wolves on the weekend, who’s really to argue?

What the papers have been saying about young Kakuta:

• The Telegraph – Kakuta gives glimpse of future …
• The Daily Mail – Kakuta ready to storm Porto’s ‘Dragon’s Den’
• The Independent – Kakuta puts rare talent on display
• The Guardian – Quicksilver Kakuta gives Chelsea a glimpse …

Quite hilarious advert from the Arsenal in support of their fundraising campaign this term. Cesc as a cute and cuddly pony is spot on; Theo as a lion, not so much. Never thought I’d say this, but well done Arsenal. More clubs need to get in on proactive initiatives like this one.

Applaud these men.

This is obviously a non Chelsea-related post, but I don’t care. On this day, the Ireland national team deserves recognition across the board — across the world. Those boys in green are no doubt worthy of a spot at the 2010 World Cup finals in South Africa. They won’t be there; a Thierry Henry hand — or two — made sure of that. But they should be.

So, I ask you to join me in raising a pint (a Guinness if you’ve got one) for the Irish. They deserve it.

You guys know the deal by now. Former Chelsea keeper Carlo Cudicini suffered career-threatening injuries in a motorcycle crash last week. Cudicini, now at Tottenham, had successful surgery on Friday and is expected to make a “good recovery.” Excellent news.

We at Chelsea Offside wish you the best, Carlo.

Bosingwa ruled out for three months

S***. At least we have an in-form Branislav Ivanovic to continue in his absent. Who knows, Bane may be first-choice, anyway.

The 27-year-old fullback has been out since mid-October with the problem.

No knives for Cashley
“… Ashley Cole is suffering from an aggravation of a depressed fracture of the tibia, originally picked up against Atletico Madrid at Stamford Bridge. The injury will not require surgery.”

Excellent news. A timetable for Cole’s absence was not released, but you’ve got to expect him to miss at least a couple of weeks with the ailment.

Cech to answer queries live online Friday
The Chelsea goalkeeper is scheduled to answer fan questions, most of which were collected over the past two weeks on the club’s Facebook Fan Page, on Friday from 1 p.m. The interview will be streamed live via chelseafc.com on the live press conferences page.

I’ve got a question in quene, so hopefully the helmet man will respond. Be sure to check it out.

Randoms

• Reserver keeper Hilario has been called up to the Portugese national team for the first time. He’ll be in the squat for this weekend’s World Cup qualification playoff first leg against Bosnia-Herzegovina. Congratulations, Hilarious.
• Michael Essien is launching his own charity organization, The Michael Essien Foundation, this week. Its aim is to provide residents of Awutu Breku, Essien’s hometown, with sufficient supplies/money to improve their standard of life. Bravo, Michael.
• Didier Drogba will be hosting a charity dinner on Nov. 21 in aid of his Didier Drogba Foundation. The dinner will raise money towards building a hospital in his home city of Abidjan, Ivory Coast, and will be held at the Dorchester Hotel after the home game against Wolves on that Saturday.

In what surely has to be considered one of the great moments in Stamford Bridge history, if not footballing history, the man we all now know broke out the ol’ toothbrusher for a quick cleanse in the final minutes of Sunday’s 1-0 home win over Manchester United.

By now,  you all should have seen this. But there’s no doubt we must not only post it here at Chelsea Offside for archival purposes, but collectively discuss his thought process.

BBCRadio 5 Live phone-in 606 host DJ Spoony actually got to speak to the now infamous responsible party, known only as David. Here’s how he explained the action: “I was wanting to get to the game and I put it [the toothbrush] in my pocket and forgot to brush my teeth. I thought no one was looking. I always brush my teeth before I go anywhere. I thought no one was looking at me.”

Really?

I beg to differ. For my money, the guy — who, coincidentally looks shockingly like Terrell Owens — is trying to erase a bitter taste from his mouth, the same one I always get when I first notice that Salomon Kalou is about to enter a match. Thoughts?

You know, we really need a Top 5 Stamford Bridge crowd moments. Any suggestions?

See the full magazine front here.

Tell us your background as a player in Scotland.
My footballing background goes back many years. I was a player in my younger days and I had a number of trials around some of the local teams, but never really made it onto the big stage. I was a big fan of football as well. I spent many seasons following Dundee with my dad. Charlie Cooke was my dad’s hero and was at Dundee before he was Tommy Docherty’s big Chelsea signing.

Would you have signed you as a player?
No. I was never the quickest. I was a goalscorer, I played semi-professional and then my Umbro job took me away an awful lot and training with teams died down a little bit.

It was a real opportunity at Umbro, it came along at the right time for me. Umbro at that time were very dominant in football, most of the football clubs north and south of the border had their kit sponsored by Umbro. So it gave me a real opportunity to get involved in football at that early stage

What will Peter Kenyon’s role as non-executive director entail?
Peter will continue on the board and he is very influential in world football. He holds a number of key posts in Uefa and I think that’s important for the club, to maintain that level of exposure and have a say at that level. How long that goes on for, who knows, but at this stage it is very important.

Peter is a very well-known figure in the game. While I have been around the game for a long time and have experience, I am not a face that is particularly well-known as far as the outside world is concerned. Obviously that will change and has changed a bit already.

After five managers in just over two years, you will be keen for some stability at management level and so far so good for Carlo Ancelotti.
It’s a fantastic start but the whole stability and continuity is very important to me and the business going forwards. Carlo, at his last club, stability was part of the make-up. You are looking at a coach who has won the top competition twice as a coach and as a player as well. So I think confidence comes with stability in all the day-to-day goings on and there is a real buzz around Chelsea at the moment. That’s thanks to Carlo and the support Carlo has around him.

Will you take more of a back seat in player recruitment?
As chief execuitve you have to be across everything that happens. You have a responsibility to deliver a strategy and all the objectives set by the business. That’s my responsibility and you can’t have one-foot-in, one-foot-out. I am across everything that happens. Whether I am involved in the detail of every agreement or every meeting that we have, then no, that’s not going to be my business. Whether I am involved in every detail of every meeting that we have? No, that is not going to be the case.

How often do you have dialogue with the owner?
Regularly. I think that’s important and I encourage it. Communication is important for the business.

Will there be any change in the way major decisions on the football side are taken? How do we decide on player targets for example?

We have a football club board. The decisions are discussed in those board meetings and if there is an opportunity to buy a player who can take us forward and will fit into our team then we will decide on a case-by-case basis.

What can you tell us about the Kakuta case?
There is not a lot I can say as far as the legal system is concerned. I think we have a strong case and that appeal with be logged with the Court for Arbitration for Sport.

Do you think you’ll reside over a good era at the football club?
Well, I’ve had a great start! It’s going to be a challenge the next five years, I use the term ‘the next five years’ on the basis of the 10-year plan. We have set our goals very high. I would like to see us continue playing the exciting football we are playing and that’s very close to the owner’s heart.

We have to keep identifying young home-grown players and nurture them through our Academy, that’s important. We have to continue to develop the facilities we have down at Cobham, develop our key core players that we have in place now. And the final piece for me is definitely fan engagement. They are the life blood of the football club and I am really keen to take that on to the next level because it is important in the growth of the club.

What would you consider as chief executive to be success?
We have got to continue winning trophies, that’s the expectation of Chelsea Football Club. Every time we cross the white line it’s to win football games. We are expected to compete in every competition we enter. That is how we have positioned ourselves as a football club and that’s how we are portrayed as a football club. There’s lots of energy around the place and we are in a good position to support the coach and deliver everything we are expecting to deliver.

On and off the field we have a fantastic team and together, it’s key that we work together. We will go onto the next level I am sure.

Guess where I found this pic. On a Barca web site, of course.