CL Recap: Valencia 1-1 Chelsea

By: Devin | September 28th, 2011

It ends a draw in Spain. It shouldn’t have. Not by a long-shot. More, after the jump:

SPAIN SOCCER UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

“Fernando, meet the pitch. You’ll be spending loads of time down here tonight…”

Well, that was about as bad as you can play over a 10 minute stretch now isn’t it? After bossing the majority of the match, taking the lead behind a peach of a Frank Lampard strike from just outside the box, Villas Boas got it all wrong with his substitutions and ultimately cost us a win. Replacing Frank, who was in good form mind you, with a low-on-confidence/looking-like-a-forlorn-puppy Kalou was foolish. Brazen, perhaps. But this was not the only mistake incurred on a night that should have tilted our way from the onset. Nay, this was the final error in an otherwise forgettable night that featured a litany of missed chances, some brilliant saves by both keepers, a few close calls, physical play, defensive lapses, and yeah, that damn penalty. I don’t have the stomach to recall the first 80 minutes, particularly the first 45- which were about as drab as possible. So I’ll try and make this as concise as possible…

First Half

Nando should have scored in the third minute, but overcooked his touch.
He should have appealed for a penalty, as replays show Rami bundled into his back without making a touch on the ball.
Nando fell down.
Ruiz should have gotten a red for pulling back Ramires after beating the back line. He didn’t.
Nando fell down, again.
We controlled the first ten minutes, until Valencia settled back in and began controlling possession.
Nando fell down, again. This time he throws his arms out in disgust.
Someone, in that vast expanse of a stadium, decided it would be high comedy to shine a laser pointer at Fernando.
Yep, Nando hit the deck one more time, again trying to get past a defender on the one-touch. You can surmise the result.

Second Half

Everything comes to life in the 51st minute. Bosingwa crosses for Torres who hits a bullet header but is well-saved by Alves.
Alves makes three remarkable saves in the space of two minutes. He’s class.
Lampard finds the net in the 56th minute. Vindication all around. Trademark Frankie strike from just outside the box.
Chelsea continue forward in attack, Meireles comes on to replace Ramires, who picked up a knock in the first half.
Valencia and Chelsea continue at each other on the counter, both sides electing to leave the field of play wide-open.
Nelks replaces Fernando, who deserved a full 90 for his excellent work in the second half. Plus, what the hell else is he doing for a month?
Petr was massive, making great saves all over the park, catching stinging shots, and parrying a few tricky shots to danger.
Malouda fails to put the game to bed, after shooting meekly into the outstretched arms of Alves. Damn him.
83rd minute, better known as the part when SHIT GETS REAL.
Lamps comes off, and, inexplicably, Kalou comes on? No Didier?
Kalou’s first touch of the ball results in handing a shot to Jonas who curls one close enough to pull Cech into action.
Then, the corner. Then, the goal. Then, the humiliation- for Kalou.
Nelks manages a crafty counter attack, but once again Alves comes up with the stop. For fucks sake!
Extra time, extra time, extra time. Nothing of note.
Then, madness. The cards come flying. Mata gets a yellow after the whistle for throwing the ball away, Malouda gets one just before the end for a soft challenge in the box, and Cole gets one while storming off the pitch in mid-tirade. Drogba pats him on the head on the way out as if to say “you’ve learned well son, you’ve learned well…”

So basically, we played hard for 86 minutes and then everything sort of collapsed. We lost our composure. I can’t even bring myself to look at the stats nor the passing charts just yet.

Player Ratings:

Petr Cech
Some gigantic saves. Great reflexes and did an excellent job either catching or parrying shots. Controlled his lines. Could do nothing about the penalty. 7.5
Jose Bosingwa
Well, his crossing was better, but his defensive positioning is worrisome. Caught out a handful of times when Canales would drift left. Banega abused him on one particular sequence. 6
David Luiz
A tale of two half’s. Tried to get forward in the first, but was stifled. Played a more traditional defensive role in the second, and was very competent. Tends to make the usual rash challenge each game. But, I love his aggression. 6.5
John Terry
Did his thing, but didn’t overwhelm, much like the rest of the defense. But, he did keep everyone in check going into the dying embers, when everything looked close to imploding. 6.5
Ashley Cole
Well, he got forward as best as he could, but got caught out a handful of times, drifting inside instead of protecting the wing. 6.5
John Obi Mikel
A virtual spectator. I get that he doesn’t really get forward that much, but his lateral, backward passing instinct is starting to slow down the attack. But, I’m not going to crucify him for one week performance. 6
Frank Lampard
Hey now, that’s what I call redemption. Shut the critics up with a well-struck shot from just outside the box for the only goal in Blue. Picked out several great passes and did his job in the middle. Expect him to start this weekend. 7
Ramires
The usual foraging runs, but the usual poor finishing. But, credit to Alves for his Superman impression between the sticks. Did his thing in the tackle today, which I’d like to see more and more of. Quietly, he seems to be blossoming into a wonderful midfielder. 6.5
Juan Mata
One to forget. Maybe it was nerves, maybe it was a touch too emotional. But regardless, this was his worst stint in Blue. Didn’t get enough of the ball, mind, but still failed to have an impact. 6
Florent Malouda
As much as I like to slag him, he did work hard for the team. But his finishing (like everyone else today) was off. 6
Fernando Torres
Tough departing for a month after that showcase. Spent more time on the ground or waving his arms in protest then on his feet in the first. Improved in the second with some well placed runs, dribbles, headers, and shots. Unlucky not to have scored the opener. 6.5
Nicolas Anelka
Came in to spell Torres in the second half. Almost scored with a lovely strike but was befuddled by Alves. 5.5
Raul Meireles
Replaced Meireles after the knock in the first. 5.5
Salomon Kalou
There are no words. -2.5

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Category: Champions League, Fixtures, Match Reports, Player Ratings

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Maysam

Do not even doubt that we need to sell Kalou. I am not just talking about this game. When Ancelotti was here, I also beleived Kalou should go.
He should go or change his position.
He is an okay dirbbler, bad defender and poor finisher. Yes he scores, but big strikers are those who score 1 goal out of 1 or 2 opportunaties not 1 out of 10 opportunaties.
I think Chelsea get decent money and let him go in january or summer
Mateo

i think there is a double standard in our judgement of players, some of them tend to get easily forgiven for their mistakes while while others get instant bashings, the Penalty was a simple mistake just as torres had a few single mistakes against United. im no fan of kalou but cut him some slack he didnt do it on porpuse, i think the one to blame today, saldly is AVB , he simply got his subs wrong and we gave away the ball and ultimately the game, im glad Lamard came through last night but i dont think one goal instantly redeems his season, i still want to see more of Josh and less of him. Petr was amazing, for a keeper who doesnt get to many fire per game we was spot on, i specially recall a play in wich Soldado recived the ball outside the box and Petr was already very close to him to challenge the ball, such a well red play.
Jack

I'm not sure I agree. Some players are easily forgiven for mistakes because they are consistently contributing to the cause in a positive manner. Kalou, in the face of a lot of criticism, has no doubt contributed well in the past. However, it seems as if the shake your head moments outweigh the great ones, which is why I think he collects more flack than most of our other players. His performance last night was a great example - his fifth touch was the handball. Do you remember the four prior? They all were poor. It was as if he wasn't prepared to play, which is amazing considering you expect a player on the fringes of this team at the moment to be keen to impress.

Actually, I think your argument would lend itself more to Malouda, who was fantastic for a period of time and then went through a torrid spell last season. Many wanted him out then, regardless of the contribution he had made previously.
ph0bolus

Alves must have graduated first honors from Hogwarts, because that was some wizadry bull**** going down last night. That save that was an almost certain own goal had my jaw on the ground..

We all make mistakes..I'm the first in line to blast Kalou, and it was a noob move by Kalou, but that's Kalou. We should be used to it by now. Apples and oranges, but had it been Torres we wouldn't be asking for him to be sold. It's a shame, I like Kalou as a person, but on the pitch he's just so frustrating. Maybe we should hire him as a camerman once his contract expires.
Joshua Sutton

I decided to come up with something more fitting for number CFC's #21:"Go back across the Ivory Coast, Kalou, KalouWe don't need you you're such a joke, Kalou, KalouYou incredibly useless and can't score goals,you handle the ball in the box like a 3 year oldYou don't deserve to wear the Chelsea blue, Kalou."
Chenlsea

Kalou should learn the role model Lampard. No complaint when you are not selected. Only determination to work hard and get your place back. Kalou, shake off your "victim" attitude - like "not celebrating after you scored" or "too eager down the pitch". You only have three months before Chelsea pull the trigger.
JP

I was surprised with the sub as well, I thought drogs all the way to kill the game since he can also defend during set pieces. Don't even get me started on kalou I'm already tired of him.
Timlos

Where do I start from, well, you almost said it all. First and foremost, this loss of 2 points is entirely AVB's fault. He usually gets his subs spot-on but is quite off the mark in this one. In the latter part of the match, playing on away grounds with a one goal margin, against a team that is neither Basel nor Bate Borisov, this is Valencia; one expects that the pressure was going to be immense and was evidently so with the way Bosingwa was been skinned alive and you make a change and bring in Kalou for Lampard. KALOU FOR LAMPARD? I just can't get my head around that. I asked aloud, of all the needs we have presently, which one was Kalou coming on to meet? He can't hold the ball, he can't contribute in defence, he can't make incisive passes, AVB, I ask, what was the objective in bringing in Kalou? Why keep Bosingwa on the pitch at all cost despite his position been well exploited or is there a Portuguese agenda? Even with that, you could have brought in Ivanovic for Malouda and shifted Bosingwa forward a bit and that way you still get to keep your beloved on the pitch, he offers additional defensive cover as well and would have been a threat down the right. Also, our midfield and attack players need to be able to recreate themselves on the pitch. When you have a goal keeper who seem to be having the game of his life then you need to do something out of the ordinary to beat him ( see Sturridge's back heel) How can a keeper be making about 10 spectacular saves against you in a match, he is either spectacularly good or you are spectacularly below average. You choose.
Magic-freddy

Poor kalou, everyone will be on his back... again.
I, for one will not jump on him... He's been a super-sub for us in the past, getting us the winning goals in tight games, just like this one...
The penalty is not his fault... it is virtually impossible to jump high without lifting your hands above your head... and he was marking well... what do you want? shit happens. let it go...
Anyway, all I'm saying is I support all chelsea players and I hate the way our so called fans like beating our own players while they're down. I'm sure the kid didn't sleep tonight and he feels bad about it.
We were very unlucky tonight, and the goal keeper was having the best night of his life... Sometimes, football is about more than what the eyes can see, and I believe alves should go straight to church, cause the Lord was right by his side tonight... can I hear a "Amen"...lol.
Jokes aside, we created a lot, and were denied on the night. That's football, if you don't like it, go watch tennis or something, we love this sport because it's imperdictible... I enjoyed the game, on the edge of my sit... it was worth watching.
Jack

I am all for getting behind the boys - and I really despise the idea of booing your own team - but I think it's a bit much to suggest that fans aren't fans if they criticize players. As supporters, who do spend money on the club, are we not allowed to express an opinion?

I've criticized any number of Chelsea players and will continue to do so. I will also continue to cheer on those criticized players for as long as they appear for the club. That's just how I see it.
Igoryl

Be cool, we'll still win the group easily.
In other news, the howl of frustration: Kalouuuuu!
Sell him.To Anji Mahachkala. For 10mil.
John

There's only one thing Kalou is good at and it's taking penalties. Anyone else think so too?
Maysam

Chelsea should sell Kalou ... He is not really a good player ... he socres one goal after missing 15 opportunaties ...
he is aweful ...we should get something out of him as long as he is young
let him go in January.
Jamie

I am guessing that Drogba didn't come on to keep him fit and uninjured for the next three league games where we'll be without Torres.

Kalou is just so frustrating. He's not getting any playing time, so he should be out to impress when he does get on the pitch - but he didn't play well in the Carling Cup match and he didn't play well here. Disappointing.
Devin Anand

Agreed. I'm not going to roast Kalou for his mistake- he's had some great games for us in the past. But clearly, he's on the outside looking in at this rotation.